Yesterday I sat in our Administrative Assistant's office, looking over some paperwork, when I was attacked by a bat. A little furry thing. But have you ever had a bat flying around your head in an enclosed place? Gave me the heebie-jeebies.
Said bat eventually ended up on the floor. I grabbed a pot from the kitchen and threw it over the bat. Then slid a piece of cardboard under the pot, trapping the bat inside the pot. Except when I went outside to release Mr. Bat, he was no longer in the pot. "Creepy," I thought. "I hope he's not a vampire who did his voodoo disappearing thing on me." I figured maybe he flew away so quickly I just didn't see him. (Side note: Why do I assume it was a male bat? I have no idea.)
20 minutes later I was in my office, working on an important letter preparing for a tough meeting, when the bat flew in and attacked me once again. No heebie-jeebies this time; just a case of the willies.
Once again, said bat ended up on the floor, once again I threw a pot over the bat, and then let him sit for 30 minutes to think about his actions.
Eventually, I found a flat piece of glass, like a small table-top, which I used to seal the bat inside the pot. Once again, I took the whole thing outside. This time, I pulled off the pot and the bat just sat their looking recalcitrant. I took him over and tossed him into a bush.
"There. Let that be a lesson to you."
Do other pastors ever have to battle wildlife in their offices?
Oh, by the way. I took a bike ride to clear my mind before the meeting, and I was attacked by a big black dog. I think nature is out to get me.