Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The things you don't see

It's Sunday morning. We've called ourselves to worship, we've meeted and greeted, we've prayed, and now we're singing. At the moment, I'm playing mandolin and providing harmony vocals as we move through a rousing rendition of "Oh, How I Love Jesus."

But I feel like I'm being pestered by a fly. I feel it brush my cheek, and attempt to swipe it away (which is no easy feat, what with needing both hands to play mandolin). I feel it a second time, and swipe it away again - all the while looking around trying to figure out where it's coming from. I feel it again, this time on the other cheek - or is it two flies? Is the cologne I'm wearing somehow attractive to flies? Or is my hair gel full of Fly Pheromones? I feel it again, high on my cheek, and swipe it away, only this time I really get it, and feel it leaving my hand and heading for the floor.

Only when I look down to see if I killed it, it's not a fly that I see lying there. Instead, it's a rather creepy bulbous spider, scurrying quickly toward a jumble of sound cables.

It takes all of .05 seconds for my mind to move from "Wow! It was a spider!" to "Wait - was it alone? Or do I have a nest of spiders in my hair?" At which point (of course), the entirety of my head begins to itch and I can only surmise this spider must have had partners, who still currently reside somewhere in the vicinity of my face.

The problem being, I'm up on the platform, and can't start flailing around, attempting to clear out any other invaders. And I can't exactly rush from the stage without everybody noticing. So on the worship goes, with me attempting to discern whether every itch is just an itch, or whether other creatures are moseying around my head.

The moment the offertory began I quietly exited the room and headed to the men's room, where a thorough check in front of the mirror led me to the joyous conclusion that my face, scalp, and neck were, in fact, arachnid-free.

But, for some reason, I was a little "off my game" the rest of the morning. Just a little, distracted, I guess.

1 comment:

Kim said...

Several years ago, I was playing piano for our Easter musical, and a spider fell from the ceiling right onto the keys - one of those big ones you're talking about. I was playing at the time, and I quickly brushed it onto the floor - at which point my mind went to "now where is it, will it be crawling up my leg" - and I spent the rest of the musical trying to locate it while simultaneously stomping around the vicinity hoping to get lucky and squish it.

Eerily enough, the next night at another performance, during almost the exact same time in the same song, what looked to be the same spider fell on the keys AGAIN! Repeat the above scenaro.

For months after that I was uneasy sitting at that piano, wondering what else would drop on me. Ew... To this day, I still think about that...

Nice to know I'm not alone! LOL