Saturday, February 12, 2011

Worst Date Ever

In honor of the upcoming Valentine's Day, Jonathon Acuff over at Stuff Christians Like tells the story of his worst date ever, and asks readers to respond with their own stories. I thought I'd get in on the action and tell a not-so-fun tale of my own romantic past.

I was at a Bible College where romance was mostly frowned upon. You had to get permission to go on a date. Fill out forms and promise to be good, stuff like that. So there wasn't a lot of dating going on in the first place. But my friend and I got to talking and realized I sort-of-liked this one girl, and he sort-of-liked her friend. Neither of us had the gumption to ask our lady-interest out alone, but a double-date seemed a good idea. More fun, less pressure, plus maybe the powers-that-be would see fit to give us permission, since it's probably harder to get into trouble in a group of four than when a man and woman find themselves alone together in a public restaurant.

We asked and - glory be! - they both said yes. We went to the dean and asked permission and - glory be! - he said yes. And so we had our first date with real college women, and cute ones, at that.

The big day came; we had arranged to meet them at the new pizza place in town. The time came, my friend and I were waiting, when we saw our dates outside, talking on the payphone. They seemed to be having an argument with somebody. Eventually they came in.

"Everything all right?" I asked.

"Fine," said my date. "It's just my mom's birthday today, and she's mad at me because I'm not staying home to celebrate." And things were off to a, ahem, great start.

Which lasted all of five minutes. Pleasantries were exchanged, pizza was ordered, and a cold gust of wind blew in as the front door opened. In walked two young men. Our dates responded with shrieks of delight. Turns out these two young men were former high-school classmates of our dates, and they hadn't seen each other in 5 months. So it was reunion time.

These two young men sat at the table right next to us. Our dates spent the entire evening talking with them, and basically ignoring my friend and me. They were all old friends talking about the old times, catching up on the latest smalltown gossip. My friend and I, so recently eagerly anticipating an evening of fun and romance. . .we were the proverbial third wheel. At one point our dates just left our table and joined their friends (although first they finished off the pizza my friend and I had paid for). And after a couple hours we all said goodbye and went home. No sweet nothings shared over pizza and root beer, not even a light-hearted conversation. In fact, no conversation at all. Just us sitting there listening to them all have a great time. And the pizza wasn't very good, either.

So there you go. The only date I ever went on in Bible College, and my worst date ever.

Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

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