My Dear John letter

Sorry, but it's time to say goodbye.

I'd let you down easy by saying "It's not you, it's just me," but that would be a lie. It is you.

The thing that bugged me most was your two-faced nature. We'd be in town and you'd behave just fine; but we'd head home and you'd go quiet. There was no communication. No connection, as they say. You'd sit there, keeping to yourself, of no use to me. I'd want to talk, to find out what was going on, but you cut yourself off. And I can't live with that.

I know, it wasn't really your fault. It's more the way you're wired. It's not as if you didn't try. I saw you attempting to reach out from time to time, searching for some sort of signal, some sort of connection. But you just didn't have it in you.

I wish I was more patient, but in the end, I think I deserve better. I need more than you can give. So thanks for the memories, T-Mobile. You made for some good times, you gave me some good memories. But I'm going off with a new cell phone now, one that actually has some connections out here on the Key Peninsula. Let me know if you ever grow up; maybe we can be friends someday in the future.

Sincerely,
a not-quite-satisfied customer

The good thing about blogging and social networking

The whole time I was at midwinter, people kept asking "how's your eye doing?" And yesterday at breakfast I met a young man, a youth pastor who had used one of my blog posts to stimulate conversation with his youth staff.

I was reminded again of the good ways, the powerful ways that technology can be used to maintain worldwide friendships and connections. A nice walk with Ann, a brief conversation with Randall, a coffee hour with Dale, even a two-minute 'hello' with Brad - all people with whom I primarily connect through email, blogging, and facebook. And all those conversations were richer because we communicate online throughout the year.

It's good to remember there are real people and real lives on the other end of these computer connections. And it's also good to find out people are checking in on my life, as well. Relationship - that's what's so important. And I was glad to discover again that technology really can enrichen real-life relationships.

Question for you techie types

A couple times a day I'll be surfing the internets with a nice, strong wireless connection, when I'll click on a link and suddenly have the "connect via dial-up" box open up. Why is that? I don't lose the wireless connection, but still it thinks I need to connect via dial-up - and then it sits there and waits for me to click the "cancel" button before moving on to the page I'm seeking. If it happened every couple months I'd just ignore it, but a couple times a day gets a little irksome.

Technology hates me

A year ago I put together a marvelous multi-media Christmas experience for use in our Christmas Eve service. While John Doan's ethereal, majestic "O Come, O Come" played over the sound system, the words of Isaiah 9 ever-so-slowly were to scroll across the screen, thus marrying the musical longing for deliverance to the text promising that deliverence in the form of a Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. And it was set to move methodically, with long pauses, allowing people to meditate deeply on these ancient words.

In an artistic flourish, I used some really cool fonts that, I thought, helped bring out the richness and power of the texts. And so I copied the powerpoint onto a thumb drive, ran it upstairs to our video tech, explained how it worked, and ran back down.

It didn't occur to me that none of those fancy fonts were supported by the computer upstairs.

And so, instead of the Word of God slowly appearing and dissolving on the screen, instead there appeared a series of boxes. And weird symbols. And hieroglyphics. Which really ruined the mood.

(You might remember this incident - it was at this moment that I calmly went to the microphone and began reading Isaiah 9, to try to bring some order back to the assembly. Only, as I read, my contact lens popped out into the darkened sanctuary, and I spent the rest of the night blind in one eye. Which, coincidentally, is how I spent this service, since my eye is still healing from surgery.)

This year I decided to try the same multi-media experience - after all, it never got its fair play last year - but I made sure it worked. Everything was in Times New Roman font. And the video tech and I ran through it together a couple times prior to the show, just to make sure it was working. And it was. Yeah.

And so we reached the spot in the program where the multi-media experience was to take place. The music began. The fist slide went up, the words scrolled beautifully across the screen. "Behold, those living in the shadow of darkness have seen a great light. . ." And then the screen went dark. Which it was supposed to, as a dramatic pause.

But it stayed dark, longer than I thought it was supposed to.

I glanced up into the balcony. . .to see our video tech and her husband frantically pressing buttons on the projector, pulling on cords, and generally fiddling with things.

And the music played beautifully on, the people sat in darkness, and the screen stayed blank. Until the VERY end, when suddenly "The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this" appeared.

Turns out that our projector had chosen that very moment in the service to overheat and turn off, and it took the upstairs people the length of the song to get it back on again.

Now. . .what are the odds of that? The projector NEVER overheats and turns off. I hardly EVER use powerpoint as part of our services. And yet 2 years in a row, on Christmas Eve, things have gone disastrously wrong right in the middle of the same portion of the service. Right when things are supposed to be contemplative and meditative and richly textured, when people are supposed to be drawn into the messianic prophecy from Isaiah - right at that point they are left confused, instead.

It is technology that hates me? Or is God trying to say something?

Aargh! What just happened?

I just downloaded a free Christmas CD from an alternative Christian band. Unzipped the file into a new folder I created in my "my music" folder. Opened up Windows Media Player. . .and all my music files and playlists have disappeared. Not from the computer, just from the Media Player program - and now I can't get Media Player to recognize any of those files on the computer, so I can't play all my glorious Christmas Music on here. . .let alone all that other music.

What just happened? How do I fix it? Somebody Help Me!!!!

I Hate AOL

I used to be a loyal AOL customer. Had an AOL address. Used AOL as my homepage. But I gradually grew tired of them.

I know, it's trendy to hate on AOL, but that's not the reason I disliked them. What did it for me was the celebrity-rag AOL front page. Every time I went online, Britney Spears was staring at me. Or Justin Timberlake. Or Cameron Diaz. AOL's front page was attempting to be a "news and information" portal, but it seemed the only news they thought I wanted was entertainment news. I emailed customer service, asking them if I could set my preferences to "literature" or "science" or "anything not related to pop culture," but nope. I was stuck with what I got.

So I took advantage of free internet access through my place of employment, switched to gmail, cancelled AOL, and never looked back.

Except that I kept Instant Messenger. Enough of the youth group kids did AIM that it seemed worth keeping, especially since it was free and relatively unobtrusive.

I still have AIM on my computer, and every once in awhile I'll see a former youth group member on there and we'll chat for a moment or two. But other than that, AOL is out of my life.

This morning, I got a "you need to upgrade AIM" message. And dutifully I clicked the "upgrade" button. I de-clicked all the options, like "make AOL your home page, your default search engine, the beneficiary on your life insurance, etc." Just trying to upgrade AIM, that's all I needed.

Once it was loaded, it restarted my Firefox browser. And guess what?

They've taken over. The first thing I see is this monstrous, black-trimmed AIM box taking up the right 1/4th of my screen. But even worse, my browser went right to the AOL homepage, where I was confronted with - guess who? - Britney Spears. and Paris Hilton. and "The Hills cast pics." and "Did your fav hottie get snubbed?" It's like opening up my latest edition of Harpers to discover it's been taken over by Entertainment Weekly. And to top it all of, there, crowding the top of my browser, is the AOL task bar that I had chosen NOT to install.

It's like the antichrist has invaded my computer.

With a little work I got AIM to close, and I removed the task bar. But I turned off the computer, rebooted, reopened firefox, and once again, the AIM Dashboard (read: AOL homepage) popped back up.

Seriously, this is why people grew to hate AOL in the first place - they don't respect the boundaries of their customers. No wonder they're going under. I just hope I can purge this computer of their insidious presence. Anybody know of a liturgy for computer exorcisms out there I can use?

Maybe this answers my earlier question

One blessing of our trip home from San Francisco was spending the night at Valley Covenant Church in Eugene, Oregon. For some time I've known the pastor of Valley Covenant, Steve Bilynskyj, through various mutual friendships and Covenant activities.

Over the years I've become friends with Steve's wife Beth, as well. Only it's all been online. Beth and I are both on Abet, a Covenant e-mail discussion list, so we've interacted there for 5-6 years. Beth is a blogger, and I read her stuff regularly. And I know she checks in here at my Hole in the Wall pretty, leaving kind comments from time to time. So we've become friends without ever actually meeting.

It was thus a pleasure to find myself sitting in the foyer of her church on Sunday morning as she walked in and introduced herself to the group. It was even more a joy to worship next to her and share the Lord's Supper with her. And I think she and Karina hit it off well, too.

I guess this is an answer to all that pondering I was doing a few weeks ago, wondering if technology can actually enhance life and give aid to the things that are truly important to me. Because it was kind of like old friends meeting again, and in many ways, technology made that possible.

Or, to be more precise, it was good people properly using technology that made that possible. Maybe there's an answer there worth pursuing.

Maybe this just goes to prove my point

The last week or so has been wondrous. Ferry rides through the Puget Sound, camping out on Orcas Island, climbing Turtleback Mountain, picking raspberries in a friend's backyard, a picnic at the beach yesterday, watching the glorious sunset over the Olympic Mountains, driving home Sunday night down the West Valley Highway as the sunset glow turned Mt. Rainier red then orange then pink then a soft lavender, and mostly spending lots of time with my wife, my kids, my parents, and a lot of friends.

This morning has been torturous. It all started when that little "Windows Update" icon appeared in the firefox toolbar. It must have been a large update, because it took a long time to load. In the middle of that, I attempted to visit a site that used java and a java update thingy came on, but for whatever reason the java update didn't automatically work with firefox, so the site crashed. And the update that was loading was slowing down everything else. The music that was supposed to be smoothly playing was instead coming in spurts. The news website I was looking at froze. The email that was coming and going froze in midstream. And when I moved the cursor of the "update" icon it seemed stuck at 33%, then went back to zero after 10 minutes and started all over.

In other words, I just wasted 90 minutes simply trying to make this computer do what I need it to do.

So, again: 6 days, mostly technology free = glorious experiences with friends and with creation.
90 minutes with a laptop = ready to pull my hair out.

What does this all tell us?

Thoughts on Technology

Recently I was handed a copy of a magazine that focuses on technology and how it interacts with our lives. It was filled with articles touting the latest gizmos, exploring the depths of technology's influence in society, and, of course, it had a whole lot of ads from technology-related companies.

I found myself becoming somewhat distraught the further I got into the magazine. By the end, I was troubled, sad, and even a bit confused. If this magazine is a reflection of society and its intentions with technology, then I'm wary of our future. And no, not because of issues like genetic modification or human/robot hybrids.

Mostly because the majority of the technological applications and innovations revolved around entertainment. Computers were touted for their ability to: 1)play movies; 2) organize music; 3)play video games. Portable devices were sold on their ability to: 1)play movies; 2) organize music; 3)play games. There were new "individual movie players" - perhaps you've seen them; they look like eyeglasses but they have tiny video screens inside so you can lock out the world and watch Rambo in isolation. There were new and improved music players, new and improved game players.

And it got me thinking: how does technology help me achieve what I want in life?

Personally, I do enjoy and use technology. I write this blog on my Sony Vaio laptop, posting it to the internet via the church's wireless router. Last week we received our brand now computer at home, and set up a wireless network so I can take my laptop home and we can all share the same system. We own an ipod, and a Playstation (2). Karina and I both have cell phones. I utilize technology for my work, doing sermon research online, keeping in touch with people via email and social networking. I've been able to do some long-distance pastoral counseling by utilizing the internet.

Quick story - On Monday, our ferry was delayed by a tug pulling a barge past the north end of Vashon Island. I took a picture of the barge with my cell phone and sent it to my friend Doug, who drives a tug boat. Just a little moment, just a quick way to say "hey!" Just a way to maintain a friendship during the day.

But, when I think about the things that are important to me, and then I compare it with the lifestyle the technology industry is selling, I find myself more and more at odds with them.

This is what is important to me:
- rich friendships
- deep conversations
- spending time outdoors, enjoying nature
- making music (with real instruments, not fake video game instruments)
- playing with my kids
- reading good books
- being able to bring Christ into the lives of others
- good cheese and root beer

The emphasis of the technological world seems to push against all those ideals. Rich, deep friendships are replaced with instant messages and facebook friends. Music making is changed into music-consuming. "Playing" (by which I mean something tactile, whether running or throwing a ball or playing a board game) is replaced by manipulating a joystick. Good books are replaced by infotainment.

So I have begun to ponder - how does technology affect my life? Is it forcing me to give up the things I love in order to pursue the things I'm 'supposed' to enjoy? How can technology make my life better, when, in reality, most of it is just trying to make my life different (so that I'll buy more of it. . .).

In other words: technology is sold on the backbone of entertainment. I don't want to be entertained. I want technology to make me better at the things I enjoy, not the things it wants me to enjoy. And yet I don't want to become a luddite, shunning technology and ignoring the possibilities it brings.

Perhaps some of you more technologically astute could answer me this: How might technology make our lives richer and better in areas NOT related to 1)watching movies; 2)organizing music; or 3)playing video games? What are some of the advances in technology that might, in fact, give us deeper and richer experiences with people and the world? If we threw out the entertainment emphasis, what's left for me to embrace?

And, perhaps this is the deeper question - for those of us truly seeking life outside of the entertainment mainstream, how do we live in a world where so many in our community do buy into the movie/music/gaming world? If I'm seeking depth, but everybody else is seeking cheap fun. . .how do we connect?

2 very important notes

I added a "tag cloud" over there on the right. Most blog posts are tagged at the bottom. The cloud shows those tags that show up the most on here (well, at the moment, 2 times or more. . .). If you click on a tag, you'll see a list of all the posts containing that tag.

+ + + + + + + +

Now the fun one, and why I thank God for computer nerds like Wes, our local Microsoft guru. . .

Wes has loaded an audio player on our church website, and, in addition, has just finished uploading almost every Sunday sermon I've preached since coming to Lakebay.

Go to Lakebay Community Church's website, click on the "Sermon Player" link, and the player should show up. You can listen to the sermon there, or download it as a podcast.

One warning - we're not done with the process, so at the moment the sermons are only listed by date. In the next couple weeks we'll begin adding in sermon titles and scripture texts.

Enjoy!

(Sermon player provided free of charge by the fine folks at Sermon Player.)

And now, for your reading pleasure

The article that started it all.
(Editor's note: This article is intended as satire. The story is offered in jest only. For the most part, everything it conveys is a complete fabrication.)

Local Church Brings Technology to the Sacred Art of Preaching
Johann Johannsen, Special reporter to The Mouse

At first, it seemed like a typical worship service. The morning started with a warm greeting offered by an energetic young man, and then gave way to a rousing time of congregational singing. The offering was taken, somebody prayed.

But that’s where it became anything but typical. “Who wants to preach this morning?” asked Gene Graddon, Church Chairperson. Silence followed, with eyes shifting downward, feet nervously scuffling the floor. “Come on, it’s not that hard. Last week Robert Lee did an excellent job. Who wants a chance today?”

Finally, Shane Hostetler, long-time member of the church and father of five, stood up and announced that he’d have a go at it. Everyone applauded.

“Do you have anything by Moody?” Hostetler asked. “I’ve always enjoyed his style. Plus he didn’t use too many big words.”

And so began one more week of Lakebay Community Church’s newest foray into modern technology – Sermon Karaoke®.

It all began in December, 2007, after the church’s Christmas dinner. One of the highlights that night was Christmas Carol Karaoke. A few days later, as the Men’s Fellowship gathered for breakfast they talked about what they’d experienced

“Well, we were all talking about our favorite radio preachers,” said Harrold Forch, leader of the Men’s Fellowship. “And most of us agreed that Pastor Dan’s sermons just weren’t up to snuff. It seemed such a waste, all these good sermons being written and preached, and we never get to hear any of them.”

Dennis Wixon agreed. “I’m a big fan of Charles Finney. I’ve read all his sermons. And I thought, ‘why shouldn’t those sermons be heard again, rather than Pastor Dan having to keep coming up with new ones?’”

That’s when they hit upon the idea for Sermon Karaoke®. “It seemed like a natural,” said Forch. “Anybody who could read could preach the sermon. You wouldn’t need to prepare or anything. Plus this way we don’t have to pay a preacher. There’s a lot of good stuff out there for free – C.S. Lewis, Jonathon Edwards; even modern preachers, like Billy Graham.”

None of the men knew enough about technology to create a Sermon Karaoke machine, so they contacted church member Wes Lathan, who also happens to work for Microsoft. Lathan loved the idea. “It didn’t seem like that big a challenge,” remembers Lathan. He recruited Joseph Lindhartsen, another church member who works with computers, to help out. “With my programming expertise, and Joseph’s technical background, it only took a couple weeks to get a prototype up and running.”

The only piece left was creating a sermon database, but that wasn’t a problem for these electronic wizards. “We created a really user-friendly interface,” said Lindhartsen. “Basically, you find sermons online, copy them into a word processor, then enter that into the Karaoke program, and bingo! The sermon is in and ready to be preached.”

In order to fill out the sermon list, the men hired two students in the church, Kate McCourt and Sara Wilson, to download and enter as many sermons into the machine as they could find. Within three months, they had over 6,000 sermons installed, covering most of the popular sermon topics as well as every scripture in the Bible. “Except Leviticus 17,” quipped Wilson. “For some reason, we couldn’t find any sermons on Leviticus 17.”

Finally, the men had a working model ready to present to the Church Board. “It was a slam-dunk,” said Wixon. “Once we explained that we wouldn’t have to pay a preacher any more, they jumped at this opportunity. I mean, think of the financial savings every year.”

Three weeks later, Pastor Whitmarsh’s office was empty, and the Sermon Karoake® system debuted. “Our first sermon was a real doozy,” said Marci Fisher, Chair of the Worship Committee. “Elaine Forch chose Luther’s sermon on Romans 2. Wow, was that powerful. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. And to think she had never preached before. It was an anointed moment.”

And Version 2.0 will be even better, promises Lathan. “We’re going to put up two different reading screens, so the preacher can move from one side of the stage to the other. And we’re working on a Powerpoint ™ module. Many of the more modern sermons – think Bill Hybells and Rick Warren – use Powerpoint ™ extensively. With Sermon Karoake ® 2.0, the Powerpoint™ slides will be presented right along with the sermon.”

It appears the only person opposed to this technological innovation was Pastor Whitmarsh. When tracked down at his new job at Dick’s Drive-In, Whitmarsh criticized the church’s decision. “It takes hard work to bring God’s Word to bear in any given situation. I really worry that people are taking preaching too lightly. Sure, church attendance has tripled since they began this, but numbers aren’t everything.”

Still, the Church thinks they have hit on something big. Plans are under way to market Sermon Karaoke® to other churches. “If this thing kicks off,” said Lathan, “I may be able to retire in a couple years. Plus the church could finally build that new building it’s been talking about. The potential revenue is mind-boggling.”

And beyond that? A few people are beginning to ask if the church still needs its worship team. “Why not do Worship Karaoke, as well?” asked Holly Lucas. “I would love to belt out some of my favorite Sandi Patti numbers for these people.”

A Few Items of Note

- Covenant Pastor Eugene Cho has found himself in the midst of "the gay debate" over on his blog. Eugene is one who really is trying to be sensitive, culturally-savvy, and open to all people in the name of Christ. Unfortunately, to many on "the other side," if you don't say "I'm 100% supportive of homosexuals in every possible way," then you're am intolerant fundamentalist bigot. His post and the comments are worth plodding through, just to understand where people are coming from.

- One more thing to worry about in Lake Tahoe: Disaster Tourists, showing up to gawk at all the "excitement." Must feel good to be sitting in the ruin of your home, mourning your loss, when up pulls the SUV with all the looky-loos jumping out with their digital cameras and video recorders.

- Horror story come to life. Hackers breaking into your cell phones. Using your cell phone camera to spy on your life - what you're wearing and eating, when you're sleeping. Switching your phone off and on. And maybe it starts when you download ringtones off the internet?

- I'm not buying an I-Phone. Just so you know. Didn't want to stand in line for it. Oh, plus I don't plan on doing business with AT&T any time soon

- And Finally, Dan's Friday Random 10. #s 1-3 all seem to fit the rainy mood outside pretty well. #4 is probably the only song dealing with Alzheimer's/Dementia I've heard. #8 I saw Laurie and Tom do live in the old theater in Newman, CA. And #9 I used to listen to when I worked in the purgatory of Christian Retail, just to keep my sanity.

1. In a Lover’s Eyes – Jim Brickman
2. Jesus Paid It All – Fernando Ortega
3. Goodnight Irene – George Winston
4. Silent House – Dixie Chicks
5. Waiting in Green Velvet – Joshua Kadison
6. There for Me – Sarah Brightman
7. Mildred Madalyn Johnson - Fernando Ortega
   
8. Just a Lie – Laurie Lewis and Tom Rozum
9. Body and Soul – Susan Ashton
10. 40 West – Infamous Stringdusters