Giving Each Other Some FLAC

This post may be a little late to the party, but it's been on my mind for a little while. It's genesis was in the infamous Ham/Nye debate regarding Young Earth Creationism, but found more traction following last week's World Vision fiasco surrounding their decision to hire people in same-sex marriages, a decision that was quickly rescinded in the firestorm of backlash that ensued.

But this isn't really about either of those particular instances, so much as the way we all behaved in the midst of the storm.

For the most part, Christians behaved rather badly.

A few years ago, we here at Lakebay Community Church adopted a Relational Covenant; a document that spoke to our way of living together. Recognizing that people have differing thoughts, beliefs, opinions, and values, we committed ourselves to function together in a way that will allow us to stay focused on the greater values of loving God, loving each other, and loving the world, and (hopefully) not become fractured over secondary issues.

This is what we committed ourselves to be:

- Friendly
      By which we mean we approach each other with an attitude of good will, of basic trust, of seeing and hoping the best, rather than suspicion, doubt, fear, and judgment. We begin with the premise that the other is a good person acting out of good motives, having good reason for what they do and believe.

- Listening
     Before ever casting judgment or thinking we understand another, we take time to ask good questions, to get to know them, to do our best to really get the fullest picture of why another acts the way they do, believes what they do, says what they say, fights for what they fight for. We listen before we speak.

- Accepting
      The Covenant Church bases much of its ecclesiology (the way we do church) around Psalm 119:63 - "I am a friend of all who fear Thee." We find we disagree with people, but we accept them anyway because we see the Image of God in them. Rather than draw dividing lines, we stay in relationship with people, even people who hold to different ideas/political persuasions/theological understandings.

- Compassionate
     And thus, rather than living in suspicion or hostility or division, we are able to live out lives of compassion, because we understand and accept people with whom we disagree. We carry out the greater commandments of loving God by loving our neighbor, even when it's not easy.

Now, if you look closely, you'll see there's a fun little acronym there, if you take the first letter of each of those four points: FLAC.

And so I told the church we all need to work hard at giving each other more FLAC. It's something I remind myself of time and again, when I'm growing tired or frustrated or antagonized over disagreements and misunderstandings. Just when I'm tempted to dismiss or lash out, I hear that voice saying "Give 'em some FLAC, Dan." And on my better days, I do just that.

So it was last week when the internet erupted over World Vision's decision, when Christians were casting WV out of evangelicalism (there was more than one "Goodbye, World Vision" tweet), when my own faith was being questioned by people who knew me, when I saw nothing but anger and judgment and condemnation and outrage, I found myself thinking of how much better this would all be, had people known about the concept of giving people FLAC.*

I wasn't in on the inner workings of it all, but I wonder if Franklin Graham called up World Vision and said "so tell me about this - why did you make this decision" before posting his scathing rebuttal? If Al Mohler had his people contact the people at WV and say "could we meet? I'd like to understand what you're doing." If the leadership at the Assemblies of God (who encouraged their membership to slowly stop supporting WV) made any attempts to listen to the leadership at WV? If any of the 2,000 people (or was it 4,000? Or 5,000? I've heard various reports)** who instantly called and cancelled their support made any attempt to really listen and understand why WV did what they did?

The response I saw certainly couldn't be categorized as "approaching one another with an attitude of good will." Instead it was more akin to "this is the end of Western Civilization and WV has just sounded the death knell of all things Christian."

I know there are Big Issues that need to be worked through, but I find more often than not my concern isn't so much the issue, but how we work through these issues. After all, Jesus said the world would know we were his disciples by the love we have for one another. Instead, so many jumped on Facebook and Twitter to denounce, condemn, pounce, and judge, and the world just laughed at us (or shook their heads in disbelief and said "see - that's why I'm not a Christian.")

Here's my little part of trying to make the Church healthier. Can we please learn to give each other some FLAC, and stop with the judgment and condemnation already? The hysteria isn't good for the Kingdom, and will never help resolve any of these issues. Please. Let's learn to give each other some FLAC, living as Christ commanded as we love our God and love our neighbor.

_____________________________
*The sad thing is that, while I wouldn't expect any of these Christian leaders/spokespeople to know anything about Lakebay's relational covenant, the principles are right there in scripture. Maybe Al and Franklin didn't know about giving people FLAC, but they certainly know the words of Jesus and Paul, which encourage us time and again to act in love and compassion and understanding and unity, and to "judge with right judgement," which doesn't include press releases denouncing decisions we have yet to fully understand.

** Update: Various sources are reporting today (4/3/14) that it was actually closer to 10,000 kids who've lost their sponsors. I can't imagine Jesus being proud of all those people who displayed their offense by abandoning hungry children.

Book Review: The Emotionally Healthy Church

We are a messed-up people, living in a messed-up world. Anybody want to deny that?

Peter Scazzero hit upon an interesting idea after years of hitting his head against the wall, seeking to grow disciples without any real success. His idea was this: most discipleship and evangelism programs deal with knowledge (believing the right things) and performance (doing the right things) without addressing the very real emotional issues plaguing us all. This leads to what Scazzero calls an Imbalanced Spirituality. ". . .when you go beyond the praise and worship of our large meetings and conventions and into the homes and small group meetings of God's people, you often find a valley littered by broken and failed relationships."

He puts this in practical terms in a descriptive paragraph that sounds all-too-familiar: "Many are supposedly 'spiritually mature' but remain infants, children, or teenagers emotionally. They demonstrate little ability to process anger, sadness, or hurt. They whine, complain, distance themselves, blame and use sarcasm - like little children when they don't get their way. Highly defensive to criticism or differences of opinion, they expect to be taken care of and often treat people as objects to meet their needs."

Realizing the a healthy discipleship process must include the emotional component, Scazzero set out to change the way he ministered, and the way his church discipled its people. Following the story of his personal journey in this area. the author lays out seven principles that make up the core of their understanding of emotional health:

1. We  need to look beyond the surface of our lives. "My focus was upward and outward - growing our church, reaching people for Christ, raising up leaders, buying a building. But an authentic relationship with Christ also takes us into the depths - the shadows, the strongholds and the darkness deep within our own souls that must be purged."

2. We must break the power that the past holds on our lives. "New roots are needed for new fruit. All we do is modify the same tree when we make resolutions and commitments to pray more, go to church more consistently, or resolve to stop bad behavior. The root needs to be pulled up. A new tree is needed. (this chapter spends significant time exploring genograms - the charting out of family history and its influence on who we've become)

3. We learn to live in our brokenness and vulnerability. "The choice to live in brokenness and vulnerability challenges us in profound ways to let go of what other people think and to surrender to God's love and mercy."

4. We receive our limits as a gift from God. "People with poor boundaries feel compelled to do what others want even though it is not what they want to do. They are afraid of disappointing someone or being criticized."

5. We embrace grieving and loss. In fact, embracing grief helps us to become more like God. "People in our churches minimize their failures and disappointments. The result is that for many today, at least in prosperous North America, there is a widespread inability to face pain." One of the outcomes of facing grief is the ability to truly forgive those who have caused us grief.

6. We follow the model of Jesus by making incarnation our model of love. ". . .bold announcements of what God is doing or saying are common. People who follow the humble way of Jesus are much more difficult to find."

7.  We slow down to live with integrity. "It is an illusion to imagine we can lead our people on a spiritual journey we have not taken ourselves. When we skim in our relationship with God, no program can substitute for the superficiality and self-will that inevitably follow."

Two bonuses of the book are a self-inventory to determine our current level of spiritual and emotional maturity, and a copy of the Rule of Life adopted by the church Scazzero pastors.

The strength of this book is the reminder that emotions are a crucial, yet long-neglected facet of discipleship, and that we are living in a culture that seems to create emotionally broken/stilted people. The weakness would be its brevity; each of these chapters could fill up a book in itself. Also, pastors and church leaders would be wise to discern just which emotional issues they can help with, and which are better left in the hands of qualified therapists and counselors.

In the end, it was a worthwhile and helpful read, challenging me both in how I lead my own life, and how I minister.

Breaking Up

I once had a girlfriend who I treated rather poorly. Not so much during the dating part; I think, overall, I treated her pretty well. It was the breaking-up part that I handled in such a way that she could rightfully call me a "jerk."

Somewhere along the line, a couple months into the relationship, I realized I wanted out. I still appreciated her as a friend, but the whole 'dating' thing just wasn't working for me. No fault of hers, there. I just needed to end the relationship, but didn't know how.

So I started ignoring her. I found ways to be busy, ways to keep myself some distance from her. It was the classic conflict-avoidance strategy, wherein the hope seems to be that the other party will 'get the message' and just go away. It was horrible, I know. But I wasn't quite mature enough to recognize that.

She eventually bailed me out, bless her soul. She chased me down and forced me to spill it; we had a good heart-to-heart talk and broke off the relationship there in the student lounge at Azusa Pacific University. And I can say with all honesty that she deserved better. And that I'm glad she had the emotional security to demand I talk, recognizing that the news probably wouldn't be what she wanted.

Many years later, following a Sunday morning worship service, a man from our church family came up and asked if he could talk with me. He was blunt: he loved our church, but for reasons which he explained (mostly dealing with the health of his wife), he had to leave and seek out another church to join. He was clear about his reasoning, he answered all my questions, but at the end of the day, he was gone.

I appreciated his honesty. I appreciated his heart. I appreciated that he did the tough thing and spoke to me about it. And I was able to pray for him and bless him as he went on his way. From time to time we'd run into each other, and it was always a good reunion. with no hard feelings.

All too often, that isn't the case. In many (most) instances, families and individuals choose to leave churches in the same manner in which I (sort-of) broke up with my college girlfriend. As in, little or no communication. They just disappear. Wander away. All is smiles and happiness one week. . .and three weeks later people start asking "Does anybody know what happened to them?"

I suspect I know the reason why, if even because I recognize it in my younger self. People don't naturally like conflict. People don't like hurting others. People don't relish having difficult conversations. So rather than address their desire to move on, they simply drift away, deciding it's easier to ignore it than deal with it. And hoping that time will pass by and this unfortunate incident will soon be behind us all.

Unfortunately, the easy way is never the healthier way. It's certainly not the mature way. One of the marks of maturity is knowing how to deal with the hard decisions, how to speak hard truths to those around us. Back to my college sweetheart - in my strategy I was avoiding the hard truth I needed to speak, a conversation certain to disappoint her - but I was really just prolonging the pain, and causing her more anxiety and confusion along the way. How much better was my church friend who spoke the hard truth, but removed any need for self-doubt, fear, or confusion?

So let's be clear about this: the mature, clean, healthy way to leave one church family for another is to simply speak the truth. Let the pastor and leadership know exactly why you are leaving, where you think you might be going; let them know if there are issues that need addressing. No, it's not healthy to use this time to take unfair parting shots as you run out the door, but it is healthy to let everybody know not to expect you around any more.

Because slinking out, simply disappearing leaves everybody wondering why. It leaves room for accusations and gossip, it leaves room for people to make up their own reasons for your leaving. It leaves leaders wondering if they've somehow failed you. It just leaves way too many unanswered questions, too many dangling emotions. And then. . .when you run into each other at the grocery store, it's all just so awkward, dancing around questions that you've already shown you don't want to deal with.

In case I'm not being explicit enough, let's summarize it this way: mature adults know how to break relationships off cleanly, be they dating relationships or church memberships. On the other hand, the "let's just stop going and hope nobody really notices" is a mark of immaturity. You may think you're letting people off easy, but in reality, it's the exact opposite. It only makes things worse.

So, from this pastor's heart to the church at large, I make this suggestion: grow up and learn how to handle conflict in a mature manner; speak the truth in love, as it were. Just make your thoughts and feelings known, be ready for some hard questions that may come back to you. Please, don't force your pastor and church family to try to guess where you went and why you left. Better a short, decisive pain than one that lingers on for months and months and months. . .

You know what's not fun?

Opening up the local paper and finding a letter to the editor attacking your friends, your church, and you. Accusations that publicly excoriate you and those you love. Being on the receiving end of self-righteous condemnation, being held up as a misfit pastor and heretic. Having to sit back while another's anger and fear cause him to lash out and warn the community of a danger in their midst.

I get it, really. Whenever you take a stand, you open yourself up for criticism. It's the price we pay for leadership, for attempting to speak to the public good. Having been around fundamentalists for a large portion of my life, I also understand their need for 'defending the faith' against any and all who appear 'weak on the fundamentals.' Still, there's nothing like having somebody misunderstand your point, misread your intention, assume all sorts of untrue things, and then put it all in print for the world to see.

If only this gentleman would have called and asked to talk it over. If only he had spent a few minutes on our website. If only he had asked around, to find out what we really teach and believe. But, no. "Fight or Flight" kicked in, and the "fight" option was chosen. And that's sad, really.

The toughest shots to take are always the ones from inside one's own camp.

Still, the Lord is our defender, and ours is the high road to take.

Awake, and rise to my defense! Contend for me, my God and my Lord. Vindicate me in your righteousness, Lord my God; do not let them gloat over me. - Psalm 35

Christianity and Islam: A workshop

Do we need to be afraid of the growing presence of Muslims in our communities? Must Islam and Christianity be pitted against each other for supremacy in society? What should the non-religious make of the ongoing struggles between these two religions?

We invite you to join us for a critical conversation as we explore whether Christianity and Islam can peacefully coexist, and what the best of these religious traditions have to contribute to our communities. We will look at how to build relationships of trust with Muslims, extending hospitality to our new neighbors.

SOME OF THE QUESTIONS WE WILL EXPLORE:
• Can Islam and Christianity co-exist in the same world, or must there be a “clash of civilizations?”
• What are some of the key differences and similarities between these two monotheistic religions? What are the core beliefs of Islam and what do Muslims believe about Jesus?
• How do Muslims view Christianity? Do we worship the same God? What should be our attitude to the Muslim community down the street?
• Is Islam compatible with democracy or capitalism? Does the Koran support terrorism?

Sunday, September 12

4:00-6:00 p.m.

The Key Peninsula Civic Center

PRESENTER
Rev. Dr. Andrew Larsen has been an ordained minister with the Evangelical Covenant Church for over 20 years, experiencing extensive cross-cultural work in Latin America and now serving Muslim communities locally and abroad. He has also served as Pastor in the U.S. for 7 years, engaged in the broader work of the church in both local and global projects. He has taught classes on inter-religious engagement and is currently facilitating local churches across the U.S., Canada, and Latin America to serve their immigrant neighbors. He has traveled and networked with Non Government Organizations and churches serving in Europe, South & North America, North Africa and the Middle East. He regularly visits mosques, has many Muslim friends in the Puget Sound region and been involved in Christian-Muslim dialogue for over 5 years. He lives in Seattle with his wife and 3 children. He received his Doctorate in Ministry from Fuller Seminary in 2007 where he received his M. Div. in 1988. 

Dr. Larsen will also be sharing in the Sunday Worship Celebration at Lakebay Community Church. We begin at 9:30 a.m.

Make Yourself At Home?

Note: this was originally printed as the lead article in our May/June church newsletter. I thought it deserved a little bit wider play.

At a recent meeting, one of our board members made an interesting comment. “I never want Church to feel like home.”

It seemed almost heretical, at first. But then they explained. “Home is the place where I get comfortable. It’s the place where I kick my shoes off and relax in front of the television, or with a book. Home is the place I go to get away from the stresses of life. When I’m home, I don’t want to be bothered by people or problems. Home is my space.”

The light started to go on in the hearts of those gathered.

“Church should be the opposite. Church is a place where we get to work, where we create space for all sorts of people. Church isn’t a place to get comfortable and relaxed, it’s not a place to get away from it all. Church is about action and service.”


Wow. I wish I’d come up with that. It’s pretty much genius. And it shows a lot of insight into Kingdom values.

When it comes to Christianity, one of the most difficult aspects for us to embrace is the idea that this isn’t about us. That this isn’t about our comfort, our tranquility, our well-being. This Christ-walk that we are on does come with the promise of blessing, of joy and peace and healing and provision. But it is not primarily a call to comfort; it is instead a call to a task. To a mission.

It is a call to serve the world. This is a fact we must never forget. We have been saved by God, filled by his Holy Spirit, and created together to be the Church, His presence on earth. But just as quickly, we are called and commissioned to serve Him by serving the World.


In other words, Lakebay Community Church doesn’t exist primarily for you and me (technically speaking, it exists AS you and me). It exists for those people out there who don’t yet know the joy of salvation in Christ. Yes, the church exists to glorify God. Yes, many in the church have gifts that are used for the good of the Body – gifts like prayer and encouragement. But all of these exist so that we can serve Christ by serving the world (go read Ephesians 2:10, paying special attention to that part about the good works God has prepared for us to do).

It is all too often the case that, when we start talking about the future direction of the church, or the current worship, or the paint scheme, we use too much “me” language. As in, “this isn’t convenient for me.” Or “this isn’t comfortable for me.” Or “I don’t really like that” or “this isn’t what I want.”

I hear you. I understand you. I’m just as tempted to think about my comfort, my preferences, the ease of my service here. I would love to come and be well-fed, sitting in my barcalounger singing Maranatha! hits from the 1980s. I’d love to take in all the blessings and simply forget about the hard work ‘out there.’ But we can’t. The church isn’t our home. It’s a mission station. Or, to be precise, it’s a people on a mission to seek and to serve and to share the love of Christ.

The good news is, all those blessings still come to us as we serve. Lakebay can be, and is, a home for many. It is a place of comfort and blessing, a place where joy can be felt and peace can be found. It is a place of respite for weary saints and sinners. It is a place where we meet our God.

But we must never confuse all these blessings with our primary identity, we must never grasp after these blessings as if they are the Main Thing. And we must never allow our desire for comfort to be the primary guide in our decision making. We want God to bless us; we desire God’s blessing on Lakebay; we must then be about the business of serving him by serving those around us, giving up our own wants, wishes, and desires. We can’t kick up our feet and relax. Instead, let’s get busy serving the world around us.

Time to get rid of the hymnals

No, not because they're old-fashioned, not because they don't fit with our new "contemporary postmodern relevant hipster uber-cool" image.

It's just that, seriously, at least 5 times a Sunday our kids and/or youth drop them onto the floor. At random moments throughout the worship celebration. . .BOOM! goes a hymnal onto the floor. It got to the point I wondered if a couple high schoolers weren't doing it on purpose. I mean, once or twice a month, maybe? But this is getting ridiculous.

Right in the middle of prayer - BOOM!

Right in the middle of the sermon - BOOM!

Right at a quiet moment in our singing - BOOM!

It's causing me to have a nervous tic. It's causing my joy to turn to irritation. It's causing me to lose my patience. And the only answer I can see is to get rid of 'em for good. Maybe we can join that church in North Carolina for their book burning.

That or we need to cover our hymnals and our kids with velcro.

(I know - today was our pastor appreciation celebration, and I truly felt loved and appreciated. So now isn't the time to be ranting. Ought to be a time of thanksgiving. And I am thankful. . .but did I mention I'm getting a nervous tic over this?)

Good meetings?

Lakebay Community Church begins our Alpha course in a little over a week.

Just typing that frightens me. Thankfully, God is big.

Last spring I put together a leadership team/steering committee to head up the program, and we've held a series of meetings over the spring and summer, in order to pull together all the details needed to run the program. They've been good, prayerful meetings, but also a little tedious as we've poked and prodded our way through all the what-ifs? and how-abouts?

Sunday night we had our first official meeting of the people who will be down in the trenches, the people leading small groups, the people greeting at the door, the people offering up prayer as the event goes on. The workers, if you will.

And I came home pumped up. Just looking around the room and thinking "these are the people God is going to use to change lives, to grow his Kingdom, to expand his ministry; these are the people who will be representing Christ to those who don't yet know him" was an exciting thought. And to see them perk up as the night went on and they caught a glimpse of what this could all mean for us as servants of God - that made my week right there.

I mean, I like, I enjoy the group that's over the whole thing, behind the scenes, covering the large-picture stuff. But these were the people who'd be actually in there, doing the face-to-face work, and it was good to see them begin to come together, perhaps with some trepidation but also with significant faith, willing to jump in and be whatever God was calling them to be.

It's not all that often I come home from a meeting and tell Karina "I'm totally excited because of that meeting." Sunday night was one of those times.

Let me brag for a moment

There's a movement afoot among churches to "get out of the box" and into the community, which is good. One of the latest trends is for churches to cancel Sunday worship, and instead have their people gather and then disperse into the community, doing various service projects around town for the morning. This is also good. It's good for the community to see the church acting in sacrifice and love; it's good for the church to learn that worship includes 'loving our neighbors as ourselves.

Recently, I was pondering this trend, and wondering if it might be something Lakebay Community Church ought to try. I wondered for all of 3 seconds, and then realized that, no, we shouldn't try it. Our people are too busy doing all that stuff the rest of the week.

According to Rebecca, in June and July we had over 30 of our people involved in various outreach projects. In July we painted a house here on the Peninsula. In May we hosted a traveling choir from Alaska. In June we hosted another traveling choir, this time from Uganda. Over the months we've been serving meals at the community house. Last fall we sent a group over to lead a hymn sing at manor care. Over the winter we sent people to Seattle and Tacoma to share meals with street people. And still, every Wednesday and Thursday people gather here at the church for free groceries, clothing, bedding, and sometimes a hot cup of soup.

And there's a lot more - people looking after the homes and yards of the widows and seniors in our church, people giving rides to doctor appointments, work done to help struggling marriages, money donated to get kids to summer camp, visits made to men and women in prison. . .and on it goes.

I know we're not supposed to boast, but as the pastor I think I need to brag on these people just a bit. They're already outside the walls, being salt and light in the community. And I'm proud of 'em.

Reading for Lent

About five years ago I discovered the wonderful Advent reader, Watch for the Light. Composed of daily readings through the Advent and Christmas season, Watch for the Light contains works by many notable Christian authors, poets, thinkers, theologians, and preachers across the centuries. It has become a staple of my Advent diet, as I return year after year to these deep reflections on the meaning of the Incarnation.

A few months ago I noticed there is a companion volume to Watch for the Light. It showed up in my Amazon box a few weeks ago.


Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter carries the reader into and through the next great season of the Christian calendar. It contains 46 readings to take us through the season of Lent and Holy Week (divided into four sections: Invitation, Temptation, Passion, and Crucifixion), and then another 25 for Easter and the days following (divided into Resurrection and New Life). Included are poems, essays, and reflections by authors such as Oscar Wilde, Kathleen Norris, Walter Wangerin, Thomas a Kempis, Fleming Rutledge, C.S. Lewis, Brennan Manning, John Donne, Blaise Pascal, Wendell Berry, Martin Luther, Mother Teresa, Dorothy Day and Amy Carmichael. Most of the writings are 2-4 pages long, making them useful for a morning's reading over coffee and breakfast, a reflective reading to end the day, or even a lunch-time pause in the hectic pace of daily life.

Now, I must admit. I haven't read this book yet. I'm waiting until Lent begins next week before I dig in, so this is a recommendation based more on overall appearance, and the fact that I enjoy the companion Watch for the Light so much. However, some of you may be looking for this sort of thing, and should I wait until after I've read it, it would be too late, as Lent and Easter would be over. So there you go.

In the meantime, may your reading be deep and meaningful in these days of shallow and transitory, and may the Lord reveal himself as we enter into Lent, preparing ourselves once again for the Celebration of Christ's Resurrection.

A brief word on discipleship vs. legalism

In further reflection on the Super Bowl, outreach, and popular culture.

This is one of the areas to which I've put a lot of thought over the last 10 years. As followers of Christ, we are called into a lifetime of discipleship, of walking in the way with Jesus, seeking righteousness, holiness, christ-likeness throughout our lifetime. We are to seek the things of God, the things of Life, the fruit of the Spirit, the attitude of Christ. The way of Christ is the way of Life, and thus we are to pursue the things that lead to life - holy living, confession when we sin, kindness and gentleness, hospitality, extravagant giving, treating others with respect and dignity; in short, loving God and loving our neighbor, or behaving justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God.

All too often, however, the Church takes these concepts and turns them into legalism. What begins as a proper discipleship question - for instance, is it appropriate for a follower of Christ to consume alcoholic beverages when these same beverages are the downfall and destruction of so many - turns into Law: Christians shouldn't drink beer. Or, is it appropriate for Christians to listen to rock music, when the culture of rock music is destructive and rebellious - turns into Law: Any music with a backbeat is necessarily satanic in origin. And soon, rather than pursuing righteousness, we're all back to living under the Law, building hedges and hiding from perceived sinfulness rather than pursuing Christ-likeness in our love of God and neighbor.

So I don't want the question about the Super Bowl to turn into a question of Law: should we pronounce it a sin to watch the Super Bowl in Church - but instead to frame it as a question of discipleship, a question of Christian ethic:

A) If we are called to pursue righteousness in all areas of life; and
B) If we are called to think on whatever is good, right, holy, etc.; and
C) If we are called to flee the evil desires of youth; and
D) If the greater culture surrounding the Super Bowl is one that leads to death, insomuch as it:
1) Promotes the image that women are objects to be enjoyed by virile young men
2) Is a bastion of wasteful spending when people around the world are starving to death
3) Promotes a culture of drinking, partying, spending, consuming, violence, gambling, etc.

Then. . .

E) Is it in the best interest of followers of Christ to spend the better part of an afternoon supporting this event? (One could also point out that it's a Sunday afternoon - iow, a Sabbath day. . .)

And even more so,

F) Is it harmful for the Church, the Body of Christ, to give approval to this event by publicly showing it and inviting the community in to watch it together?

And, finally,

G) If we sit with the young men and women of our community to share in this event together, in what ways are we forming their spirituality for good or bad? Are we causing our youth to stumble by essentially saying, "It's ok if it's sexualized and violent and if it is a massive waste of money that could be better spent on Kingdom work, just so long as it's entertaining, or if it gets your friends in the door"?

So the answer to the quesiont ought not to be "It's a sin to watch the Super Bowl." That's legalism at its finest. But could it be said "of the many options available to us, engaging in this activity is probably not the wisest choice for those who seek to honor Christ with their lives?"

And, just so you know, if our church decides to hold a Super Bowl party next year, I'm not going to go all judgmental on them. I'll probably show up and enjoy some pizza and soda and carrots and fellowship. I'm not trying to make any command decisions via this blog. Just trying to have a healthy conversation.

Two final thoughts:

- As was pointed out in the comments below, we had a group of young ladies take the afternoon of Super Bowl Sunday to travel to Seattle and hand out sandwiches to homeless people there. They chose to minister, to be counter-cultural and ignore the game in order to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Maybe we could learn something from them.

- Erin asked the question about going to the beach - Essentially, there's lots of girls in bikinis at the beach, so if we're going to avoid the Super Bowl, shouldn't we also avoid the beach? The pool? The world?

I'd respond that those are different issues. The commercials shown during the game made it obvious that flesh and sexuality went hand in hand. Wearing swimsuits at the beach is a different matter. Yes, some are there on the hunt, but others are there because they want a tan. There are a lot of different reasons for going to the beach, and most are good. To get some sunshine, to swim in the ocean, to enjoy being with friends, to enjoy the beauty of creation, to play frisbee or nerf football in the waves, to surf, to get out and have fun. One could make the argument that going to the beach has much to offer the follower of Christ - to rejoice in the wonders of this planet, to have long , uninterrupted conversations with friends, to clear the mind, to find health in all the sunshine and clean air, to minister to others we may run into, to relax, to get exercise.

Yes, I know for some it's a struggle to keep their mind in appropriate places when surrounded by young men and women in various states of undress, but that undress is natural in the location. You wear a swimsuit to the beach; it goes with the territory, and it isn't necessarily intended to be sexual. But I would argue it's not the same with something like the Super Bowl. Whereas the beach can be a positive experience but also has at its core the potential to be, shall we say, distracting?, I'm not so sure that there are many positives left about the Super Bowl. Does the good that can happen there outweigh all the harm it can and does do? I'm beginning to think the answer is no.

Pastoral Question for Discussion

We held a Super Bowl party at our church. About 45 teens and adults (and 10 younger kids) came and enjoyed the game via projector on the wall, as well as the mandatory pizza and sodas and chips and salsa and cookies and crackers and carrots.

If you watched the game, you know a few of the commercials were a little, shall we say, risque. The sexy-women-in-underwear sort of risque. So there we sat, a bunch of Christians, including many young, impressionable teenage boys, projecting hyper-sexualized images up for all to see.

And now I wonder - the point of the event is both outreach and fellowship. Outreach - we get a lot of teens who come at the invitation of friends in the church. Fellowship - all these people enjoy a fun afternoon together, cheering and shouting and supping together.

But at what point are we doing more harm than good? And I know - some of you want to go past those ads and talk about the overt emphasis on alcohol, the violence on the playing field, the culture of domination and destruction and consumerism and consumption, the wasteful spending when people are starving around the world. I was going to say "let's leave that aside for a moment," but I guess they fit the question as well.

Is it appropriate for a church to hold a Super Bowl Party, in light of all the elements surrounding the culture of the game, elements that lead to death and destruction rather than life and redemption?

Go ahead. Discuss.

Deep Calls Out to Deep

It's been a tough couple months. Personally, and with respect to this ministry. A lot of people walking through some very dark places. Karina and I have family who have wandered some frightening paths over these last few months; I've had conversations revolving around pain and fear and doubt and anger with more than a few people recently.

I don't quite know why this has all happened to so many at the same time. It's too easy to point to the stress of the holidays, the downturn in the economy, the darkness of winter. All I know is that the devil has been sifting those we love, and the wounds have run deep.

It makes for an interesting time in the life of a minister. In walking with others through pain, it forces me to dig deeper, to dwell with painful questions, to spend more time in the interior places, pondering the answers to which there may not be good questions, while at the same time carrying on the public part that is celebrating Advent, rejoicing in the New Year, speaking of Joy and Hope and Light in darkness. Sometimes, keeping a foot in both worlds is tiring.

But this I know: it is perhaps the greatest privilege of my life to walk with people through these dark hills. That I get to sometimes bear the brunt of their anger toward God. That I get forced into places I don't necessarily want to go, to hold somebody's hand when they've lost their way.

I'm listening to a podcast with Dick Staub and Earl Palmer, and Palmer just said "Grace brings us into the present tense." That's what I'm feeling like right now. The past contains too much misery, the future is too unknown, but here we stand, in the present tense, with God's grace enough for right now. Or, to some, the hope that God's grace is enough for right now. We do have a lot of issues "out there," like building projects and budget shortfalls and leaky basements, but for the moment, it seems our call is to remain here, loving and carrying some people through the difficulties and demons that suck at their souls.

God is good. Sometimes, when we can't see it, we need others to be good to us, just to keep us moving, one step at a time, on the road toward glory.

Happy Birthday to Me

About a month ago I told Karina, "It would be nice to have a few people over for my birthday this year. Just a few close friends with whom we can sit and have a quiet evening. No big party, nothing special. I'd just like to spend the day with some of the people who are important to me. But. . ." and I emphasized this clearly, "I will not have this turned into an 'over-the-hill' joke. If anybody comes in with "Over-the-hill" stuff, I'm walking out. Because I'm celebrating moving ahead in life, not desperately clinging to any youth that I have left. I only want to focus on the good stuff. So. . .no 'Over-the-hill,' and I mean it."

So, what is then the proper response when the entire church throws a surprise party during and after worship on Sunday, complete with lots of 'Over-the-hill' paraphernalia? When people go to the time and trouble to write (and perform) skits with 'Over-the-hill' themes? When you walk into the fellowship hall and see "Over-the-hill' banners and posters, and most of the gifts are gag gifts related to getting older, and you realize that everyone is wearing black? When the worship service itself is interrupted (twice) to push this thing forward?

And what do you do when it's the people you love and respect who are making all this happen?

You enjoy it, that's what you do. You enjoy the love and appreciation from people who, well, love and appreciate you. You enjoy the cake and the potluck and the folk musicians in the corner - you even grab your mandolin and sit in for a few.

And you consider yourself fortunate to be in such a good place, surrounded by some amazing people.

And in your heart you resolve to prove just how wrong they all are with that "over-the-hill" bit.

A Tale of Two Sons

Yesterday we received word that the son of a woman in our church, 35-years-old with four young boys of his own, a man we've been praying for regularly, is dying. By the end of the day, the word was that he was in his last day of life.

Yesterday I visited another young couple, part of our church, and held their baby in my arms, little Asher, born the day before.

And so we welcome one son in, rejoicing, and we let one son go, grieving. Our thoughts and prayers are with both families, holding both close to our hearts, holding both up before our gracious Father in Heaven, as one family begins a lifetime of meeting their son, watching him grow and flourish and become the man he's destined to be, as another family mourns a son, a father, a husband, a friend. Grace be to you both; may God's gentleness rest in your souls.

And remember - your Family loves you and cares deeply for you. We're here whenever you need us.

On the Other Side

I spend a fair amount of time visiting with people. And, as a pastor, I've done my share of hospital visitations. I've been with young parents shortly after they delivered their babies, I've sat with men and women who have come out of surgery, I've prayed at the bedside of people who just received devastating medical news. I've often walked into hospitals as a "man on a mission," the pastor on his way to sit and pray with his parishioners who are experiencing medical trauma of one sort or another.

Which is why the whole surgery experience was just plain odd. For the first time, I was the guy in the bed, the guy being wheeled down the hallway, the guy getting poked and prodded and stuck with needles and asked a hundred questions ("Is anybody abusing you?"). I kept thinking "wait - I'm supposed to be on the other side of this bed, the guy in control of the situation, the guy doing the ministering, not the helpless one having everything done to him."

Even as I was being wheeled down the hallway into the surgical suite, it became almost surreal, like "this isn't how this is supposed to work." And a couple days later, when Doug came by the house on a pastoral visitation call, in which he was the pastor and I was the "recovering guy," it was just too weird.

Sunday was the same. I attended church on Sunday. That's all I did. Other people called the people to worship, other people prayed, other people made the announcements, somebody else preached. I didn't do anything accept sit and stand and sit and stand (and start to fidget when the tylenol began to wear off. . .). Again, it was all backward. I was "the guy in the pew" rather than the one leading it all. It was pretty surreal (of course, that may have been the drugs, too).

Which, in the end, was probably all a good thing. To have to give up control, to put myself at the mercy of so many others, to experience the helplessness and lack of power. . .those are not things I'm so good at. It feels good to sweep into the hospital, knowing I'm doing what's expected and I'm fulfilling a calling and playing an important role. But we know that the call of the Christian is a call to relinquish control, to give up power and prestige. I don't know how often I get the chance to be completely dependent upon everybody else. So it's probably a good experience to be "on the other side." I would hope it all makes me that much more sensitive and empathetic to those I visit from here on out, as I've now truly been one of them. I've lain in that bed and felt helpless. I've sat in the pew and had to trust others to lead me through worship.

The other thing I've figured out is this: it's okay to be vulnerable in front of the congregation. In fact, I think there are times when the church needs the opportunity to turn things around, to show their love and appreciation and care toward their pastor. They don't need Superman, they need somebody who is human, who has hopes and dreams and fears and hurts, just like they do.

I'm reminded of a conversation I had way back in the first church I served. It was late in the evening, following a youth group meeting, and three girls in the group were sharing their frustration with me. And the core of it was this: "Dan, we tell you all about our problems, all about the things that bother us, we tell you everything in our lives, and you never tell us anything about what's going on in your life!" They were actually mad at me because I was holding some emotional distance from them. I was the leader, the youth pastor, and I thought I needed to show strength, to be impervious, to stand strong in the face of life. What they told me that day was that they needed me to be human. They wanted to share in my life as people, not as pastor-parishioner. They wanted true human relationship, not a static leader/student relationship.

And I'm still learning that lesson. I'm still learning that not only is it okay, it's truly necessary to let this relationship be reciprocal. As I minister to the people of this church, they need to minister back to me. As I love these people, I need to let them love me as well. And sometimes that means getting into the hospital bed and becoming the patient, of sitting down and letting them lead. Of letting them become Minister to me, in every meaning of that word.

So maybe my little jaunt to the other side made me just a little more human once again. At least when I say "I feel your pain," I really mean it, because my eye really hurts right now. Anybody want to bring me some tylenol?

Sometimes Visitation Comes to You

Yesterday I got into the office and did about an hour's worth of work, before I walked out and bumped into a new friend. He and I had a long, deep talk about spirituality and community and seeking our way in life. After he left I had a chat with a woman about a mutual friend who is deeply hurting at the moment. Then our mission chair asked to meet with me about something, so we talked for 30 minutes or so. After she left I walked over to the front office, and saw one of our older ladies sitting there, waiting for Bible Study to start, so I chatted with her for 15 minutes or so. Then another woman from the church walked in - one I'd been hoping to talk with for a little while, so she came into my office and we talked about life and leadership for 3o minutes. In between all that I received a phone call from a woman who is deeply struggling with financial and marriage issues, and we talked through some options together. In the midst of all that another woman from the church came in with some concerns about some possible "inappropriate political advertising" taking place on church property. And then, just about the time I was heading home for lunch, in walked our janitor, who had been in the hospital over the weekend, so he and I spent some time catching up on all that was going on in his life.

I had one thing to accomplish yesterday: sending out the email newsletter. Short, simple task, right? I began it at 10:00, and didn't get it our for 5 or 6 more hours, simply because the day was spent visiting with people. Some people would like to see me get out of the office to do more visitation; lately I'm finding I can't get out of the office because all the visitation is coming to me.

And so goes the life of a community pastor.

The Danger of Asking for Input

Back in the day I used to occasionally turn our youth group meetings into Question-And-Answer periods. Rather than preparing a lesson, I would open up the floor and allow the kids to ask whatever they wanted, and I'd attempt to lead the group toward an answer.

In many ways, it was a no-brainer, because the kids always asked two questions. Sure, they asked a lot of questions, but in the end, they were always about the same two things:

1) Sex
2) Other religions

And I knew enough to be able to answer those questions. "How far is too far?" "Why does the church make such a big deal about sex before marriage?" "If my girlfriend and I 'did it,' does that mean we're going to hell?" and, finally, "my friend's a Mormon. Is he going to hell?"

Everything came back to that.

So a few months ago I decided to spend a couple weeks preaching in a Q&A format. We're in between series, so I thought it would be nice to let the congregation set the direction by asking me some questions. I'm not the first pastor to do this, so I can't take credit for any originality here. I just thought it would be a nice change from the normal "Dan decides what to preach on and then he preaches on it" routine. Besides, these things are pretty easy, so I would have extra time to prepare the upcoming series, as well as taking care of some other stuff around here.

Nope.

Not this church.

Nothing easy here.

"Perhaps you could speak to refute Marcionism."
"How can I be completely contented when my loved ones are spending eternity in hell?"
"Who are the 'spirits kept in prison' in 1 Peter 3:19?"
"Is God a Republican?"
"Why do some people live perfectly happy lives, while others go through virtual hell every day?"
"Jesus only suffered for a few hours - how does that compare to those who spend years in excruciating pain and suffering?"

In fact, not one question about sex or other religions. Answering these questions has taken twice as long as my normal sermon preparation.

I guess I should be happy - I serve a thinking church who wrestle with deep issues. But how am I supposed to come across as the "expert" when I can't answer 1/2 of their questions?

I need to go back and preach on stuff I know. It's a lot less complicated.

(note - that last little bit is completely tongue in cheek, in case you didn't get that)

Why yes, you did see me on television

King 5 news in Seattle headed out this way yesterday to do a story on gas thieves who hit the local food bank. They got wind that gas thieves had gotten to our church van, as well, so they headed up the road to hear our story. Both Howard Johnson, our M&M Outreach director, and I got a little bit of airtime, with a nice shot of the church in the background.

You can go watch it here.

If you watch really closely, right at the 1 minute mark, you can sort of make out Clara running toward the back of the Jeep, as well.

Mission Story #4: a Tale of Three Churches

On the trip down to San Francisco, we stayed two nights with Brian Brown, pastor of New Hope Community Covenant Church in Antioch, CA. Brian and I became friends back when we were both youth pastors in the Central Valley, he in Stockton and me in Turlock. He (and his very pregnant wife Rachel) were gracious enough to let us all crash at their place and take over their bathrooms and kitchen for a bit.

On Sunday morning, we attended the worship service at New Hope. But it wasn't a normal service. New Hope meets in a school's auditorium, so they thought it would be a nice reflection of God's love to do a service project that morning, cleaning up trash around the school grounds. So they began with an abbreviated, 30-minute service, with the Lakebay team leading the music and Brian giving a short "talk," and then went into the service project. We joined them for a bit, and then headed off into our week of mission work in San Francisco.

On Thursday of that week, we attended the Evensong service at Grace Cathedral, the Episcopal mothership in San Francisco. Evensong is a hybrid Vespers/Compline service, made up of prayers and scriptures, some spoken and some sung. No sermon, no anouncements, just music and scripture. And the music is glorious, if you like classical music (not so much if you're preference is hip-hop or country). There is a majesty and holiness to the worship at Grace, a sense of awe and mystery that you don't usually get in contemporary music. So it's good to take part of, every once in awhile.

On the way home, we spent the night at Valley Covenant in Eugene. On Sunday mornings, they hold a short communion service before the regular worship service. It's about 30 minutes of scripture, prayer, and then the Lord's Supper. Our group joined them for this service, electing to leave before the main service kicked off, so that we could get some breakfast and then drive home. And it was a blessed time; I think our people really enjoyed the simple yet elegant format, and the opportunity to share Communion with our brothers and sisters from Oregon.

But you see the thread, right? Three churches, all "alternative" services. All focusing on music and scripture, with little or no speaking by the preacher-man. Three services that all lasted 30-45 minutes at the longest.

And so it was that one of our younger group members, one with little church experience besides Lakebay, came up to me following Valley Covenant's service and asked "Dan, do they ever preach sermons in other churches, or is that just something we made up at Lakebay?"