Pain

This was briefly touched on over on the facebooks, but to bring everybody else into the story. . .

One of my greatest joys over the last few years was playing in the Signature Brass Quintet, of which I am one of two original members. We've played some wonderful music, some fun venues, and I was enjoying the chance to hang out with the guys on a regular basis. It was a nice break from the normal routine of life in ministry, and it gave voice to a part of my that had disappeared after college. All in all, it was, and was still becoming, an important piece of my life.

Not any more.

Last week I got a phone call from one of the other players. Essentially, his message was:

a) we think this group can be great
b)but not with you, so
c) you're out, and we're looking for a new trumpet player.

I give Manny credit - he did his best to break the news with grace and dignity, but let's be honest - there's no way to say "we're all better than you so you're out" without it stinging just a bit.

I'm not naturally an angry person. But I admit it. This one hurt quite a bit.

And not just because they took away something so important to me, and not just because it was all a bit unfair, the way they all made this decision without even consulting me.

It's more because the musicality isn't the issue. That's the smokescreen that covers a much deeper problem. Namely, that one of the other players (who shall remain nameless) is a ninny.

Yep, I just said that. A ninny.

It really came down to this: that particular player pulled a stunt that was unethical and unfair, and then criticized the rest of us when we didn't respond like he thought we should. So I pointed out his unethical behavior. At which point he threw a hissy fit and emotionally blackmailed the other guys into kicking me out.

It's all so junior-high-playgroundesque.

So there's the grief piece, in losing something that was a huge part of my life, an activity that brought me great joy and satisfaction. And then there's the outrage piece, at the injustice of it all, of essentially being bullied by a grown man unable to deal with his own issues.*

Like I said, I'm not naturally an angry person. But it's been an angry week for me. It doesn't help that pastors aren't really supposed to get angry, and that we're all expected to be examples of peace and forgiveness. That we're not supposed to maintain vengeful thoughts in the deep recesses of our brains. But there they are. Yes, I know forgiveness will come with time, and no, I'm not going to act on those vengeful thoughts. But if it helps you to know that pastors sometimes get angry and dream about punching other people in the face, there you go.

That's my story.

But last week I also sat with a friend who told me they had just signed the papers to officially end their marriage, and it was freeing but it was also the most painful day of their life. And then I sat with another friend whose marriage has gone frigid and dark and is probably over. And then another friend erupted in a message to me, sharing the pain of all the ways Christians have betrayed and hurt them over the decades. And I'm hurting for our church, as we've lost six more families over the last few weeks.

And this morning I learned that Heidi slipped away into eternity in the night, and I can only imagine Joe's grief. They fought for so long, and even a week ago thought they might defeat this ugly thing called cancer, but then it hit with a vengeance and there was nothing to be done. We rejoice, knowing that Heidi is now in the arms of God, that her life was redeemed long ago by Jesus, and that at the resurrection she and Joe will see each other once again. But today, it seems, is a day of grief.

I asked Karina this morning, "when does all this pain stop?" and she replied (much too quickly, I think) "it never does." And that's the truth. There are many wonderful, glorious, delightful moments in life. But the pain is always there, just the same.

Which is why I'm thankful to know and be known by a God who promises justice for wrongs done, who promises healing for broken hearts, who promises love to those cast aside, who promises resurrection from the power of death. The knowledge that all is well, and that all manner of things shall be well, is life-giving power, and not just a pithy proverb. The promise that all shall be brought under his rule, a rule marked by love, justice, and righteousness, is just the news we need to hang onto. We can grieve our losses, we can speak out the wounds we receive, and we can lay it all in the hands of One who has known injustice and loss. And there, we can rest.

Not that I'm there yet, mind you. I still feel like punching that guy in the teeth. But God's working on me there.

But this has been running around in my head today, especially once we got the news about Heidi. Listen prayerfully, and let God speak to you through it.

_____________
*One of my patented maxims is "The number one thing that gets me into trouble is expecting adults to behave like adults." Feel free to quote me on that one.

Why I love living in the woods

Late yesterday afternoon I realized the well pump wasn't working. The lowering pressure meant water was slowing to a trickle coming into the house. That's bad enough. But our well also provides water to the church. If we didn't get this fixed, it would be difficult to expect people to come to church when you couldn't provide the basic necessities like flushing toilets. And coffee.

But it was Saturday afternoon, and time was running short. So I called Doug, the building and grounds guy for the church, and a man able to fix just about anything. No luck. So I called the church chair, just to give him something to panic about. Turns out he knew where Doug was. "He's out in his backyard on the tractor." That's the thing about small communities. Somebody always knows where to find the person you're looking for.

I drove to Doug's and went around the back, where I ran into Doug's lovely wife. Which afforded us time for a brief how-do-you-do. She pointed me over to the neighbor's yard, so I headed that way. Where I ran into the neighbor. I hadn't seen him since last year, when I was called over late at night after he had come home to find his father dead in the backyard. So we had a nice chance to catch up, and I was glad to hear how he was keeping his life together and making meaning of his father's death. And sad to hear that his dog is dying.

Finally Doug came around the corner; the problem was explained, he grabbed some tools, and back to our place we came. But not before I had the chance to play a couple of banjos that Dorene had been telling me about. Anyway, Doug got right to work and diagnosed the problem, but didn't have the parts to fix it. We called, but Home Depot didn't have the parts either. So he figured he'd go cannibalize the parts from his own well and see if that got our pump working. First, though, Ron showed up for dinner, so he got in on the conversation. And Megan showed up as well (for dinner), so she got to hear the whole story and to meet Doug as well.

Doug took off and I got to charring meat on the barbecue. Then Gene (the aforementioned chair), his wife, and the little girl they babysit showed up to get in on the action. We had a wonderful conversation before Doug came back. Then Gene and I watched Doug install the new power supply. Power was restored and we all rejoiced at the hum that marked the pump kicking back into action. Disaster averted, we had water, and church could go on.

For the record, all that means that just because the well pump went out, I got to spend quality time with Doug, Dorene, Steve, Bonnie, Gene, and Amber. And Doug got to spend quality time with Gene and Ron and I. Etcetera. It turned into a regular social event.

Oh, and this. Doug called the well pump repairpeople from his house. Their tech called him back. Doug described the part, and the repairman said "yep, I got one of those." So Doug said he'd run up to Port Orchard (40 miles round trip) to pick it up. But the repairman offered to bring it by. So they started exchanging locations. Turns out the repairman lives all of 2 miles from Doug, and was only 3 miles from home. So faster than you can say "How about that?" the guy got to Doug's house and dropped off the part. So nothing had to be cannibalized, and we got a brand-new part without having to drive 40 miles on a late Saturday afternoon.

That's why I like living out in the woods.

The sun shines for the last time on 2010

Turning Trials Into Joy

I received an email yesterday afternoon with some bad news. Longbranch Community Church, our brothers and sisters to the south, was the victim of a vicious vandalism attack Friday night. I threw on a coat and headed down to see if we could offer any assistance. It was worse than I imagined, worse than can be described. Most windows shattered, tables overturned, bookshelves thrown to the ground, fire extinguishers emptied in the office, broken glass everywhere, doors punched through, holes hammered into walls, "I Am the Devil" written in whipped cream on a table. Every room was affected. Broken glass was showered over the floors, and out into the parking lot. It was horrendous.

Lakebay had a similar experience a dozen or more years ago, a fact some of the Longbranch people remembered. We now had a story in common. Unfortunately.

But they had some people there just beginning the process of cleaning up. And I made a few phone calls, and they made some phone calls, and word got out, and a dozen of their people showed up, and 8-10 Lakebay people showed up with work gloves and willing hearts, and a local glass guy made an emergency visit, and the local diner (Lulu's Homeport) brought some soup and sandwiches. And the glass was cleared out, bookshelves were set back up, trash cans were run off to dumpsters in the area, floors were mopped and vacuumed, and I realized in the midst of it that people were having a good time. They were laughing. They were getting to know each other, and, this being a small community, everyone was figuring out all the connections they had with each other. Young people and old were on their hands and knees picking up glass shards and scrubbing tables. Men were up on ladders securing the broken windows with plywood.

Yes, more people came as they heard the news, and there were tears and cries of shock and anger. But a community developed. People gave up their Saturday evening to serve those who were in the midst of a tragedy. And before you knew it. . .we all shared dinner together in a cleaned-up fellowship hall. And prayers were said for victim and perpetrator alike. And love and service ruled the day. There weren't a group a churches gathered together; instead, the singular body of Christ showed up in sacrificial service. It was a beautiful sight to behold, and (I think even the Longbranch folks would agree) a marvelous blessing was borne out of a vicious attack.

A couple other items of interest:

- the vandals left the sanctuary untouched, which seems both a blessing and a little suspicious
- the vandals left some evidence behind. Perhaps enough to point a pretty sure finger at them.
- while we grieve for Longbranch Church, we also recognize the vandals hit the Longbranch Improvement Club first. They have their own pain and mess to deal with
- At least one Longbranch Church member pointed out to me, with a sure sense of irony, that the lectionary text for this morning from Luke 12 reads: "If the owner of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into."

Good meetings?

Lakebay Community Church begins our Alpha course in a little over a week.

Just typing that frightens me. Thankfully, God is big.

Last spring I put together a leadership team/steering committee to head up the program, and we've held a series of meetings over the spring and summer, in order to pull together all the details needed to run the program. They've been good, prayerful meetings, but also a little tedious as we've poked and prodded our way through all the what-ifs? and how-abouts?

Sunday night we had our first official meeting of the people who will be down in the trenches, the people leading small groups, the people greeting at the door, the people offering up prayer as the event goes on. The workers, if you will.

And I came home pumped up. Just looking around the room and thinking "these are the people God is going to use to change lives, to grow his Kingdom, to expand his ministry; these are the people who will be representing Christ to those who don't yet know him" was an exciting thought. And to see them perk up as the night went on and they caught a glimpse of what this could all mean for us as servants of God - that made my week right there.

I mean, I like, I enjoy the group that's over the whole thing, behind the scenes, covering the large-picture stuff. But these were the people who'd be actually in there, doing the face-to-face work, and it was good to see them begin to come together, perhaps with some trepidation but also with significant faith, willing to jump in and be whatever God was calling them to be.

It's not all that often I come home from a meeting and tell Karina "I'm totally excited because of that meeting." Sunday night was one of those times.

Let me brag for a moment

There's a movement afoot among churches to "get out of the box" and into the community, which is good. One of the latest trends is for churches to cancel Sunday worship, and instead have their people gather and then disperse into the community, doing various service projects around town for the morning. This is also good. It's good for the community to see the church acting in sacrifice and love; it's good for the church to learn that worship includes 'loving our neighbors as ourselves.

Recently, I was pondering this trend, and wondering if it might be something Lakebay Community Church ought to try. I wondered for all of 3 seconds, and then realized that, no, we shouldn't try it. Our people are too busy doing all that stuff the rest of the week.

According to Rebecca, in June and July we had over 30 of our people involved in various outreach projects. In July we painted a house here on the Peninsula. In May we hosted a traveling choir from Alaska. In June we hosted another traveling choir, this time from Uganda. Over the months we've been serving meals at the community house. Last fall we sent a group over to lead a hymn sing at manor care. Over the winter we sent people to Seattle and Tacoma to share meals with street people. And still, every Wednesday and Thursday people gather here at the church for free groceries, clothing, bedding, and sometimes a hot cup of soup.

And there's a lot more - people looking after the homes and yards of the widows and seniors in our church, people giving rides to doctor appointments, work done to help struggling marriages, money donated to get kids to summer camp, visits made to men and women in prison. . .and on it goes.

I know we're not supposed to boast, but as the pastor I think I need to brag on these people just a bit. They're already outside the walls, being salt and light in the community. And I'm proud of 'em.

Just a reminder

Lakebay Community Church is hosting the

Watoto Children's Choir
from Uganda, Africa

at the Longbranch Improvement Club
Sunday, June 7
7:00 p.m.

Admission is free,
although a free-will offering will be taken to benefit the Watoto kids.

Quick Plug

It was just pointed out that the new Center for Student Missions website is up and running, and they've used some pictures from our trip to San Francisco last summer. There are a couple different versions, so once there, hit shift+reload a couple times to see my mug, along with some of our kids at work and play around the Bay Area.

And still it falls - the current view outside my office window

That's about 5 inches of snow, and still it falls. A few minutes ago somebody drove by on a snowmobile.

My commute this morning: a 5 minute walk through the silent, snow-shrouded woods, alone with the falling flakes and my thoughts. I love this place.

Why yes, you did see me on television

King 5 news in Seattle headed out this way yesterday to do a story on gas thieves who hit the local food bank. They got wind that gas thieves had gotten to our church van, as well, so they headed up the road to hear our story. Both Howard Johnson, our M&M Outreach director, and I got a little bit of airtime, with a nice shot of the church in the background.

You can go watch it here.

If you watch really closely, right at the 1 minute mark, you can sort of make out Clara running toward the back of the Jeep, as well.

In the News

Lakebay's Shane Hostetler showed up in the Peninsula Gateway the other day. You can read the article here.

Positive Signs

Lakebay, like all churches, has its struggles. I would say we have had more than our share of struggles over the last 15 months (which, coincidentally exactly parallels my tenure here). Some would say it has known more than it's share of struggles over the last 5 years. But. . .all churches struggle, all organizations have their ups and downs, all Christians face good times and bad. So we're not going to dwell too much on those hardships.

What I find interesting is this: since late last year, Lakebay has lost some of its biggest givers to death, to moves, to differences of ministerial philosophy. Since late last year, Lakebay has lost a number of members - some have died, some moved, some were unwilling to follow the leadership of this church.

Yet late last year we welcomed in 5 new members, last month we welcomed in 6 more, and I just finished a New Member's Class with 5 more interested men and women. Our latest quarterly report shows our giving averaging about $2000/month more than our spending. Our attendance has been steady, our visitor flow remains strong. Our worship the last few months has been powerful. We've seen direct answers to prayer time and again, even in the last weeks.

And I know this - I have never known a healthier, more spiritually-driven board than the one that is now leading this church. God has raised up a healthy leadership, which truly extends beyond even the board. We have people serving in all sorts of places, leading in their own ways in our various ministries inside and outside the church.

Yes, I am sorry for those we've lost. I miss those who have passed and moved on. I grieve for those who, in their anger, have refused to hear God speaking to them. But God is up to something here at Lakebay, and I, for one, am thrilled to be a part of it.

Friday Random Bonanza

The WeatherAh, the weather. The top finally came off the Jeep Wednesday. In Washington, going topless in May is always a sketchy prospect. You know rain is right around the corner. But how could I pass up this opportunity to enjoy the sunshine and 80-degree temps? Unless you've driven along the shoreline, or through the woods, in a Jeep with the top off. . .It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand. The Purdy Spit was a whole new experience.

The NewsThe Key Peninsula geoduck fight makes it back into the news again, this time in the Tacoma News Tribune. For those new to the discussion, one family wants to grow geoducks on their shoreline (approximately 500 yards from where we live), in order to make some money to offset their astronomically high property taxes. Everybody else is afraid doing that will ruin the "pristine" shoreline. It's local politics par excellence. Somebody needs a class in conflict management. Or Washington needs to figure out how to stop runaway property tax increases.

Life
Last fall, Lakebay Community Church blessed us with a gift certificate to a resort about an hour away, on the Hood Canal. We finally get to use it next week. My parents are coming over here to watch the girls, giving usI complete freedom for 48 hours. I was hoping to take advantage of some outdoor opportunities - kayaking, biking, hiking - but now they are saying the rain is returning on Monday. So maybe it will be just sitting by the fire, or in the hot tub, relaxing. One way or the other, it will be nice.

Of course, that means this place will stay a little quiet the early part of next week. The Sermon Experiment Texts might be a little late, or a little early. We'll see.

In Case you hadn't found itYou need to bookmark Nasa's Astronomy Picture of the Day. You get to see stuff like this:














That's Messier 65, a spiral galaxy about 35 million miles from earth.

Something New I LearnedI always thought cookies were only placed on your computer when you visited websites, and that only those website put cookies on your computer. I recently changed the settings on my Firefox browser to notify me whenever somebody wants to put a cookie on my computer. Turns out websites will stick cookies in your computer if you simply google them. Plus all the ads in websites? They stick cookies on your computer, too. So if you visit, say, a website offering financial information, and on the borders of said websites are a couple of advertisements for financial help seminars/books/classes - often those advertised websites are sticking cookies on your computer along with the actual site you visited.

Maybe you already knew that. I didn't.

And, lastly, the Friday Random 10Eclectic bunch today, but all good. Some bluegrass, some classical, some gospel, some new stuff, some old stuff, some ancient stuff. #1,2, and 6 are probably my three favorite female singers. We saw #3 performed live at last year's Puyallup Fair. #4 I missed out on by one year - Erich Kunzel, director of the Cincinnati Pops, visited APU to check out our choir for his Gospel Project, and was duly impressed, inviting the group out to record his album and do a live performance. Alas, I was a senior the year of his visit, and so took part in the impressing, but not the recording.

1. Norah Jones/Dolly Parton – Creepin’ In
2. Alison Krauss and Union Station – So Long, So Wrong
3. David Crowder – You Are My Joy
4. Azusa Pacific University Choir w/ the Cincinnati Pops – Amen!
5. Ricky Skaggs and Earl Scruggs – American Roots
6. Diana Krall – I’ll string along with you
7. Bebo Norman – Where the Angels Sleep
8. Derek Webb – Awake My Soul
9. Kathleen Battle – Rejoice
10. The Dillards – The Whole World ‘Round

Free Advertisement

Lakebay's own Roshni Robert is having an art showing in Tacoma, with a grand opening this Saturday. Here's the information:


the four winds
works from the country,
including watercolours in found frames
by roshni robert

opening reception may 12th, 2007 5-8pm

may and june may and june 2007
blackwater cafe
747 fawcett ave.
tacoma, wa 98402

M-F... 6:30am to 9pm
Sa..... 8am to 9pm
Su..... 8am to 7pm

In the News

The May KP news came out yesterday. On the front cover is an article of Lakebay's own Sam Shake, pointing to an article inside telling the story of Sam's upcoming European trip this summer. On the back page are two pictures take by Karina, one of the bald eagles over Home last month, and one of the Lakebay sunrise service. And on their website they have a picture of Linda Anderson's daughter-in-law Heidi Whittemore receiving an award. So I'd say the Lakebay Community Church family did pretty well this month.

Small-town Politics

Suddenly Lakebay is famous, for all the wrong reasons. . .

A local fire commissioner was jailed after a fight in which a fellow commissioner was attacked with a coffee mug, apparently the latest incident in a long-standing feud.

The commissioners, 71-year-old Allen Yanity and 64-year-old Jim Bosch, both of Lakebay, got into a heated exchange Tuesday during a break in a meeting as they were standing with their wives, sheriff's Detective Ed Troyer said.

Yanity bashed Bosch repeatedly on the head with a coffee mug, Troyer said.

It's like watching kids on the junior high playground. "I'm gonna get you!" "Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna get you!" "Betcha couldn't!" "Betcha I could!" "I dare you!" "I Double-dog dare you!"

Honestly, I would expect better from adults. But this isn't my first experience with one of them, and in our last exchange he acted just like the same petulant little kid. And people say the kids are messed up. It's these guys who worry me. . .