bikini stands, a retrospective

Since some have asked, I did submit a slightly edited version of my screed against bikini espresso stands to the local paper. However, since the stand most central to the KP closed shortly after it opened, the paper has chosen not to run the article. They have, instead, invited me to submit another piece for consideration; I will then be in the running to be a regular guest editorialist for the 2010 year. We'll see.

I did see, however, that "anonymous" left a note disagreeing with me in the comment section following the original post. It is generally my habit to disregard anonymous notes; if they come to me in writing, I promptly throw them away. If they appear on my blog, I generally leave them as part of the discussion, but I usually don't respond.

This time, however, I thought it might be 'useful for instruction,' as the saying goes. So, at the risk of giving 'anonymous' more exposure than they deserve, here is their response:

wow, Dan this looks more to me like it is easier for you to take on others "sins" than look at your own. Was it not Jesus himself that said "Judge not" I think you should take a look at your own life and not rag on others untill you yourself are perfect. I hope that along with talking about these stands you write an article about why you shouldn't take your kids to wild waves for fear of what they may see women in their bikinis or for heavens sake the purdy spit *gasp a bikini honey get the kids were not ever comming back here!!!!!

So, let's talk about it.

First, I'd like to point out that 'anonymous' fell into the classic logical fallacy of completely disregarding my logic, my reasoning, the evidence and argument I brought. Instead, 'anonymous' resorted to an ad hominem attack, choosing to paint me as a judgmental prude, more quick to call out the sins of others than deal with my own. This is not a reasoned response, it is an emotional sideswipe, calling into question my motives and integrity without ever answering the original charge. I said "Bikini coffee stands are bad because A and B." A reasoned response would say, "I disagree. I think you are mistaken when you say A, and you never even considered C." But, instead, 'anonymous' responds with "I don't have to listen to what you say because I think you're a bad person."

Of course, 'anonymous' has no way of knowing whether or not this is true. They don't know if I regularly confess my sins to another, they don't know how I respond when I am held accountable for sins I commit; they know none of that. They presume to assume a few things based on my choice to share my dislike of bikini espresso stands, but they have no proof one way or the other. So they fail on the first point.

Next. . .

The most mis-used verse in the entire Bible must be "Judge not. . ." Yes, Jesus did say that. Right in the middle of the sermon on the mount. But if anything is true of biblical interpretation, it's that context is everything. And, taken in the context of Jesus' full life and message, he certainly never intended a world in which no person ever shared their unhappiness with another person or situation. Jesus called Peter "Satan." Jesus called out the religious leaders with his infamous "woe to you" diatribe. Jesus' cousin John called the Pharisees a "brood of vipers."And the rest of the NT reveals quite a bit of judging going on.

When Jesus said "Judge not," he went on to say "because at the same measure, you too will be judged." He was speaking about a kind of self-righteous attitude that perceives oneself as perfect, while everyone else is Less-Than-Perfect. Of walking around feeling (and acting) smugly holier-than-thou. Of lacking any humility. And, quite possibly, of making eternal pronouncements over people instead of leaving that up to God. But the biblical witness is far greater, from Amos preaching judgment over a people who refuse to care for their poor, to Nathan rebuking David, to Paul rebuking Peter and Peter rebuking Ananias and Saphira. The book of Revelation is one long judgment against the Roman Empire.

The heart of the issue is this: are we simply judging so that we can feel better than others? Or are we engaging society, calling our community to be better and stronger? If all we do is sit back and complain, then yes, we're guilty of judging. But if our desire is to point out sickness so that it can move toward healing, then we are behaving righteously. Imagine it this way: if your doctor discerns that you are extremely overweight and at great risk for a heart attack, it may sound judgmental for him to say "cut back on the twinkies and Big Macs and eat more vegetables." In fact, it is judgmental, insomuch as it makes a negative judgment toward your eating habits. But it's a judgment based on his desire to see you move toward health, and so it is a good judgment, and not the kind Jesus was talking about in the Sermon on the Mount.

And, yes, this is exactly the point I was making in the original post. I believe these types of businesses are unhealthy for us as a community, for the people who live here and the people who work in the stands. Thus, I speak out not as a prude, but as one calling my community to seek health.

"Anonymous" fails on the second point.

Finally, the comments about Wild Waves and going to the beach misses the point. At bikini coffee stands, bikinis and the flesh they don't cover are the attraction. They are the selling point. They are the main thing. At Wild Waves, at the beach, bikinis are simply the by-product of people's desires to enjoy the sunshine and get some Vitamin D in the process. At the beach, people are expected to wear less clothing than normal, and while there are still some lecherous people who go to ogle, and while there are still girls who go there to 'strut their stuff,' those people don't define the moment. The intent of people at the beach is not primarily sexual. Thus, when I and my family visit the beach, there are no sexual undertones; we're all there to enjoy the water and the sun and the sand.

Bikini coffee stands are inherently sexual, because sex is the motivating factor in their advertising. "Come and see sexy girls" is the call going out. And, naturally, those who go in expecting to see sex - well, that's exactly what they're going to see.

It's somewhat like the difference between nudity in art and pornography. For all but the most base minds, nudity in art can be a celebration of beauty, of the human form, of life, of a lot of things, but it's not about sex. We can look at a statue of a Greek goddess and not be turned on, even though the statue is nude. I have family members who are photographers; they see (and sometimes judge) photographs of nude people. I've been to art galleries that contain nudes. And most (except those with a junior high mentality) enjoy it as art without turning their minds toward lustful, sexual thoughts.

But pornography is different. It may be the same flesh, but the purpose is purely sexual, purely to titillate, to tickle that spirit of lust inside of us. It has no great purpose, no purpose at all other than to give a moment's pleasure to the viewer (and make money for the seller).

In other words, art has a depth that draws the viewer into a world wherein life is expanded; pornography flattens the world out, destroying the actors by turning them into 2-dimensional objects of my fantasy.

And so it is with this beach argument. Going to the beach is not about sex; going to Wild Waves is not about titillation, it is about swimming and enjoying the sun. Bikini coffee stands, on the other hand, are expressly about sex, and are thus destructive, in that they turn women into 2-dimensional objects with no purpose but to fulfill the fantasies of others, and they teach the shoppers that women are worth only one thing: what they are willing to put out.

So, no 'anonymous.' You fail on the third point, as well. I realize there are many who don't care, many who would just rather go ogle the girls anyway, who will deny the harm there. I can point out how dangerous it is to continually eat a high-fat, high-salt diet, but most will keep doing it anyway. I get that. But I won't feel guilty or wrong in telling them the truth anyway.

Just like I've learned to appreciate it when my friends do the same to me. It can be painful, but I cherish the times people who love me have taken the time to call me toward a better way of living, when they've pointed out ways I have sinned against them or others. Because those times have made me a better person. I am not perfect; I'm just trying to follow the One who is Perfect, and inviting the community to join me on the way.

bikini coffee stands

It was reported in the most recent online edition of the KP News that the Key Peninsula area now has not one, not two, but three new coffee stands, all in the 'bikini barista' tradition.

Considering we had none of those just a few short months ago, the change is dramatic. (note: one of these stands, Bare Espresso, had a brief opening run and now appears to be closed again. I heard through the grapevine it has something to do with a lawsuit against the former owner, but have no personal knowledge to corroborate that story).

It would be easy to become offended at this point; in fact, most might expect we Christians to get our noses out of joint, to become righteously indignant about the decay in morals in our society. It would be all too easy to go Church-Lady on these new establishments. But, no, I'm not going to be offended. I'm not going to thump my Bible over anybody's head.

Instead I'm going to simply be honest, and say that I am utterly disgusted at the thought of these places doing business, here on the KP or anywhere else.

"Why are you so disgusted?" you ask.

There are primarily two reasons:

1) I respect women. I'm glad I live in a day when women are rising to some of the highest areas of leadership in our country. I'm glad to serve in a church that believes in full equal leadership rights and responsibilities for women. I believe women, like men, are created in the image of God, and are worthy of full respect. But even there, quite often 'respect' carries the wrong connotations. It can sound borderline patronizing. To put it simply, in God's eyes, women are the equal of men. And I'm glad I live in a world that is finally recognizing that.

To carry it a step further, believing that women are created in the image of God is also to believe they have enormous, immeasurable intrinsic worth. God's image is shown in their intellect, in their wisdom, in their leadership skills. Both women and men come to the table carrying around the image of God. We do well when we show each other respect and honor as humans created by, cherished by, loved by, and honored by our God.

All rhetoric aside, bikini coffee stands take us back to an uglier world, where a woman's primary worth is her attractiveness to men. Now, two of the managers of these new stands either lied or are just clueless, because they tried to deflect this view. "Don't be judgmental because of the bikinis,” [one] said. “The girls are nice, but our business is coffee." Sure. Go with that.

At least one of the owners was honest. "The girls will be our big draw," said Matthew, the owner. "And we aren't going to hide them. We'll have a four-foot by four-foot window to put them on display." 

It is obvious to anybody paying attention that there is a backlash, a dumbing-down, if you will, against many of the gains made by women in the last 50 years. For every Condoleezza Rice and Hillary Clinton who have risen to Secretary of State, there is a Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, plummeting right back to the world where sex appeal and 'dumb blonde' is a badge of honor. For every serious female actor, working hard at garnering respect for her craft, there are hundreds of girls getting their 15 minutes of fame in a Girls Gone Wild video. For every image calling my daughters to find their worth in their mind, in their creativity, in their skills, there are too many more reminding them it's all worthless unless they look and act hot and available.

And lest you think I would promote a world devoid of physical attraction and admiration, I would add in the many marvelous examples of female athletes. WNBA stars, track and field champions, swimmers and gymnasts, tennis players and soccer players can all be admired for "their bodies." Not as primarily sexual creatures, but as powerful athletes who have created wondrous athletic machines with the bodies God has given them.

So why am I disgusted by bikini coffee stands? Because they stand as one more reminder to women that their worth is in their cleavage and their flat stomach, and (I'm assuming here), their ability to flirt with the men who drive through. And because they once again reinforce to the men who drive by the thought that women exist for their pleasure; that women are to be admired because of their sexuality, their bodies, and the way (I'm assuming here) these women flirt with them as they drive through.

Because, in the end, I highly doubt any guy's going to drive away from Smoking Hot Espresso thinking, "Wow, I admire her for her understanding of the geo-political situation in Central America." I even doubt most will drive away thinking "Wow, I admire the way she brews a cup of coffee."

2) I like sex. But I also happen to have a very high view of sex. To do the briefest of theological sketches, humanity (male and female) were (are) created in the image of God, and that image finds fulfillment in the sexual union. Genesis says the sexual union creates "one flesh." Paul use the sexual union of husband and wife as the model for Christ's union with the Church. He also goes so far as to say even fleeting dalliances with a prostitute creates a spiritual union between the partners. The church's aversion to sexual immorality and the cheapening of sex is not borne out of overly-sensitive sensibilities or old-fashioned, victorian aversions to anything tawdry, but instead out of a grander, more incredible vision of sexuality than anything the world can imagine. There is an incredible spiritual component to sexuality.

(btw - if I had more time and space I'd work that out to include all male-female relationships, not just the sexual act itself. This is not just the plane of the sexually-active; I think there is a component of healthy male-female friendship that exists even when there isn't sexual activity. But that's for another time and place).

Thus, any cheapening of sexuality is a cheapening of the deepest part of our very selves. Any divorcing of sexuality from true, abiding friendship and relationship does damage to who we are as humans.

And any usage of sexuality as an advertising ploy does great harm to our souls. And, no, it's not just bikini espresso stands. It's also Burger King and their "Paris Hilton washes a car" ads. It's the beer ads promising instant sexual satisfaction from hot girls (or guys) for all who drink their product. It's any and all advertisement that use sex as a gimmick. In fact, it's anytime anywhere in our culture when the sexual act is removed from a committed relationship, be it movie, music, or television. When we take what is perhaps the highest, most intimate connection between human beings, an act that goes back to the highest point in pre-fall creation, and turn it into "just sex," we deny ourselves as Human and move down the ladder to pure animal.

In other words, if you use sex, especially 'hot female sexuality" to sell your coffee, you are cheapening sex, and damaging your employees and customers by denying their humanity, their worth, and their ability to truly stand as whole, healthy human beings, knowing and being known by others in respect and true love.

That's why I'm disgusted with these bikini espresso stands. Not because I'm offended by sex, not because I'm frightened of female sexuality. Instead, it's because these places at their core cheapen women, turning them into one-dimensional caricatures for the enjoyment of so many men, and because they cheapen sex, the very thing they play on to draw the customers in.

One final thought: At this point, some would say "live and let live. If you don't like it, don't shop there. Don't judge others, don't foist your morality on others." Fair enough. Except for this: what these stands do cheapens all of us, it cheapens our community, it cheapens the lives of everybody out here. If I lived on the beach, and a mile or so down the beach a company was dumping raw sewage into the water, I wouldn't settle with "live and let live." What they do "up there" affects the environment down here. Any, be it bikini espresso stand owners or TV producers who use sex as advertisement, as ratings-producer, ultimately affect the larger culture. Even if I choose to ignore it, to turn off the TV, to drive by the espresso stand without stopping, those things still end up altering the world in which I, and my friends and family, live. So while I don't plan on standing outside with protest signs, I certainly do hope others will take all this to heart, and, eventually, these places either shut down or change their business practices. After all, we've got plenty of other coffee stands that are doing just fine without putting their girls in bikinis, tassels, and pasties.